We all have the Right to Remain Silent.

We all have the Right to Remain Silent. Sometimes we just don’t have the ability! We say something that we wish we could take back. The writer has some personal experiences to share with the reader that might save them hardship and trouble of, loose lips sink relationships. Sometimes, when we have a thought we should just let it go! So the writer as a few tips, that may help the reader to exercise their Right to Remain Silent. By the way, these tips work well in any relationship and could just save a marriage or long time friendship. These tips will allow the reader to say the right thing at the right time. Or even remain silent! If use correctly these tips will bring the reader years of enjoyment, and loving long-lasting relationships. Use wisely! When applicable the writer has given personal experiences. In hopes the reader many find a better understanding of the techniques necessary on The Right to Remain Silent.

You have the Right to Remain Silent:

One year I was looking for a Christmas gift for my Mother-in Law. She was always very hard to buy for. At the time, my wife and I decided that we would find a gift that would keep on giving. So after much discussion and searching we came up with the perfect gift. Well it was mostly my Idea but it was the perfect gift.

We decided, well I decided, to buy my mother-in law a cemetery plot. By the way it’s a great gift idea for anyone you truly love to hate. Anyway We, I mean I, purchased this beautiful little cemetery plot under an Oak tree next to a stream over looking this wonderful serene valley. It was the perfect spot for an eternity of rest and peace. Actually I wouldn’t mind that spot for myself. So as I said, we, I mean, I purchased the cemetery plot.

Next year, we didn’t get her anything. Will I didn’t get her anything. I was still paying off the plot. Cemetery plots are cheap. These are forever places. Especially that one. You know she had the nerve to ask me, why she didn’t get a gift this year. To be honest, that kinda made me mad. So I said,

Well you haven’t used the gift we gave you last year!

Yep, you guess it looks like I will be using that cemetery plot for myself after all. The old bag took her daughter and left. I had the Right to Remain Silent, But I didn’t have the ability! Lesson Learned.

You Have the Right to Remain Silent:

Last year my lawn mower broke and it wouldn’t run, my second wife kept hinting to me that I should go get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Then drinking beer. There was always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. Or so she thought. Hey, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time had a thought and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. She said what’s this for? I said,

“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

Yep, you guess it, I had the Right to Remain Silent, but I didn’t have the ability! Actually, That thought I had. I probably should have let go. The doctors say the scare is hardly noticeable. It was a good thing see missed vital organs. Lesson Learned.

You have the Right to Remain Silent:

On my first day out of the hospital. My second wife sat down next to me after cutting the lawn, as I was flipping the channels. You know there’s 180 channels on satellite T.V. and there’s never a thing on them to watch.  With my one good eye after the scissors accident. Well that’s what I told the police anyway. My friends call me Blackbeard because of the new cool patch.
So as we were sitting on the couch. She leans over and asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

Yep, you guess it, I had the Right to Remain Silent, but I didn’t have the ability! One would have thought by now I would have learned my lesson. That thought you have, trust me. Just let it go! Well need less to say, the doctors were surprised to see me again so soon. They said,  I will walk again, but with that wooden leg, I will always have a limp. Lesson Learned.

I had the Right to Remain Silent But look at my T.V.

You have the Right to Remain Silent:

After I learned to walk again on that wooden leg. Oh, I Am retired now, who’s going to hire a one-eyed one-legged man. So one Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I had the thought that I would go fishing. Or at least treasure hunting. After all I looked the part of a pirate. I hooked up the boat up to the now handicapable van and proceeded to back out the garage into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. Hurricane Katrina had just made landfall. Didn’t want to lose my parrot sitting on my shoulder, My best friend just purchased him for me because my second wife was now in jail. The Lawyer say she’ll be out in ten. Seven with good behavior. With what I know now, I’m betting on ten. Anyway, I went back into the house, gave Polly a cracker and quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my third wife’s back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is just terrible.”
My loving third wife of 2 years replied,

“And, can you believe my dumb-ass pirate husband is out fishing or treasure hunting in that?”

Yep, you guessed it, I had the Right to Remain Silent, but I didn’t have the ability! That thought I had about treasure hunting, I should have, just let it go! I gave the bird to my best friend. Polly is very happy living with me in our van. I put him by the window so he can look out and see the ocean. Polly’s learned a new phrase, YO, HO, HO, and a bottle of Rum. I reply, I matey! Arr-ghh! Sailor Jerry is our new best friend. My new friends call me Captain Morgan. My wooden leg has developed a bow living near the misty, foggy, damp Ocean. So, I have to keep it up on something so I can stand up straight.

I had this drawing done from one of those sketch artist on the beach. I had the Right to Remain Silent. Polly stands on my other shoulder. And my wooden leg is a little shorter than this picture.

You Have the Right To Remain Silent:

My new wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. I have lost count is that number five? Your right! It’s number four. We met on the beach one day. She helped me pull my leg out of the sand. It appears clam digging is not a good idea with a wooden leg when the tide is coming in. Who would have thought. Well that’s one I should have kept! I’m working on it. You know that Sailor Jerry is 92 proof. Even seen a drunk pirate with a bowed wooden leg stuck in the sand? Well? there’s a video. My new wife has a YouTube channel and love’s to make videos!
Anyway as I was saying. She was hinting about what she wanted for our up coming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.” Well did I tell you that Sailor Jerry rum is 92 proof?  I thought, I know the perfect gift.

So I went out and bought her a bathroom scale.

Yep, you guess it, I had the Right to Remain Silent, but I didn’t have the ability! I thought that was the perfect gift. One would have thought by now I would have learned my lesson. That thought you have, just let it go! Lesson Learned.

You Have the Right To Remain Silent:

My wife was standing on her new shiny bathroom scale. She either love’s me or she love’s making videos of pirates. I think, Oooops, I better let that one go! See I AM learning! Man that Sailor Jerry is smooth. She’s was nude standing on the scale and looking in the mirror. She was not happy with what she saw. Ever seen a beached whale? Damn, I have the Right to Remain Silent, and she said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat, and ugly, just like a beached whale. I’m I physic or what? She than said, “I really need you to pay me a nice complement.”

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect moby.”

Yep, you guess it, I had the Right to Remain Silent, but I didn’t have the ability! I though that was the perfect complement. That least she didn’t ask, Do I look fat?  One would have thought by now I would have learned my lesson. That thought you have, it’s best just let it go! Lesson Learned.

Here’s Polly, He has the Right to Remain Silent. Yet he doesn’t have the Ability either.

You have the Right to Remain Silent:

This experience happened to my wife.  Sometimes it’s better to have a different point of view. I think she’s been living with me to long and has pick up my bad habit of saying what even comes to mind. I haven’t told her about, You have the Right to Remain Silent yet. As the reader can see. I haven’t got the hang of it quit yet. But I should get an A for effort. It’s the ability part that I seem to have a problem with. Well Polly and I were having a discussion with Sailor Jerry about Parallel Realities and Dimensional Shifts. Polly really likes his crackers dipped in Rum. You know it’s not half bad the other half is pretty good too. Myself, I find it kills the effect of the sterilizing GMOZ corn flakes.

We were sitting there talking. Well I was sitting, Polly was kind of stumbling around on my shoulder. Ever seen a drunk parrot sometimes their fun to watch. There’s a video on YouTube. We can’t get cable in our tent. It appears there no place for the cable guy to place the jack. So Polly and I, we make do. Pirates are happy people when their not out raping and pillaging. Maybe it’s the Rum. Who cares? We were sitting there. Remember, my leg it’s bowed and standing in our new tent is difficult. Anyway the zipper flew open and my wife came running in and She said, I just rear-ended a car this morning with our van and it’s totaled. Man this is the start of a REALLY bad day! I thought. Is very body OK? I asked. Yea, she said. But the van. I said, do worry as long as everybody is OK! So what happened I asked. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and he said ‘I am NOT Happy!’ My car is totaled.

Yea, and then what happened, I exclaimed.
So she said, I asked?

“Well, which one ARE you then?”

Yep, you guess it, she had the Right to Remain Silent, but she didn’t have the ability! I thought I should have share my knowledge with her about my experiences. Sometimes it’s better not to think at all. That way you never have to worry about should I keep this thought or just let it go? Lesson Learned

Here’s my new
friend and first mate. You have the Right to Remain Silent. Remember he’s not Happy!

Polly and I have a new first mate. Yes my wife is still with me. It appears the dwarf was living in his car. His cardboard box had blown away in Hurricane Katrina. He’s staying with us now in our tent. It turns out he like rum too! Plus, the extra body heat really keeps the tent nice and warm. He just needs to leave is pick outside the tent from now on. Ever wake up with a prick in your back? You girls know what I’m talking about.

If you ever see a drunk parrot, a drunk one-eyed wooden bow-legged pirate, and a drunk dwarf with a pick, stumbling around digging clams on a beach with a beached whale near by! Just smile and wave. That’s us! If not we have a video somewhere on YouTube. Oh, since I have a crew now we are looking for a ship to sail, so we can all go treasure hunting. I found this treasure map inside of a clam. Or was it a bottle we found on the beach. Yep, a bottle. Funny this old bottle looks just like a Sailor Jerry Rum bottle with a mermaid inside on the label. The map looks promising. What’s weird this that the map looks like the paper I use on the bottom of Polly’s cage and there’s these little marks all around this island with little black and white X marks. I think it’s really because it smells like old stale Rum. We all know the pirates of old drank Rum, because the water was bad on their ships. So this map has to be real. I just know it,… I think!

We Named her. You have the Right to Remain Silent. Just the Right size! Don’t you think?

I have been promoted to Admiral Nelson, my first mates name is grumpy. We named him that because,he’s not happy, his arms are too short to grab is peter when he needs to pee. So I trained Polly to help him out. He’s always yelling though when Polly grabs his peter with his beak. I have a thought. No, I better let that thought go! I have the Right to Remain Silent! It’s about time I use that Right! YO, HO, HO and a bottle of Admiral Nelson’s Rum. You know, I should complain to the coast guard, the beach were we have are tent, has all these old Rum bottles all around. Somebody could lose their leg if they happen to step on one. What do you, the reader think?… Just testing to see if you have learned your lesson. Just let that thought go!

You have the Right to Remain Silent. Do you have the ability? YO HO HO and a bottle of Rum.

Knowledge is Power

Take your Power Back

CJC

You have the Right to Remain Silent. Do you have the Ability?

The Right to Remain Silent!